I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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