I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Dicks are not precious.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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