Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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