Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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