normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
