I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
