So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
