5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
