Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize