Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
