that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
why do cheetos always look like penises
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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