i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize