Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just invented taco cereal.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
