Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My pussy is not your playground.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
