i jhust puked up my retainher.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
