so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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