8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
