Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It's never too late to be topless.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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