sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
