I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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