I don't think brook has ever known best
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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