no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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