I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
