Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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