just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
