Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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