Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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