dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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