and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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