the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
