So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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