What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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