Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
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