peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I have already put on my inside pants.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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