we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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