help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize