Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
