when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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