in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
