Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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