my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
