I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize