I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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