Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
