So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize