Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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