just come out here and I will go home with you...
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
