"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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