So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
