beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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