guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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