Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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