They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
