All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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